Individuel Relationship Therapy

Fear of Commitment/Abandonment Issues

You may be searching for your soulmate, but something always seems to go wrong or feel off. Either you or your date ends things when too many obstacles arise; a true connection seems out of reach, and the love of your life feels distant. Sometimes, you think you’ve found them, but the other person doesn’t want a serious relationship with you. Perhaps fear of commitment or abandonment is causing these repeated setbacks.

Heartbreak

You’ve had a meaningful romantic relationship, but it ended—either by their decision or due to circumstances such as moving, death, emigration, etc. You may feel like you can’t move forward without them. You’re unsure how to open up to a new partner,

After a Divorce

You are divorced and find it challenging to start dating again and open yourself up to new love. Perhaps you have young children and wonder if introducing someone new into their lives would be good for them. However, on the days when they’re not with you, you feel lonely and would like to have a new partner. This may create an internal conflict, leaving you uncertain about what you truly want or what the wisest course of action is. Additionally, you might question how to balance everything with a new partner—your children, their children (if any), work, friends, and other commitments.

Women in Their Early 30s

You may feel a growing desire to settle down and start thinking about having children. The ticking of your biological clock can sometimes create stress. You might wonder why you haven’t met the father of your future children yet. Why haven’t you crossed paths with him, and how can you best approach this situation?

• Why do I almost never fall in love?

  Why do I always fall for unattainable men/women?

  I’ve fallen in love with someone else. Should I end my current relationship now?

  Why do I feel so suffocated so quickly in a relationship?

  Why do I never meet a nice man or woman who wants a serious relationship?

  Will I find a partner in time to start a family?

  I feel so insecure when it comes to love.

  Why do I always have to adapt in a relationship?

  Am I actually happier in a relationship, or would I rather be single?

  I don’t want a monogamous relationship—can that work?

  What kind of man or woman suits me?

  I’ll never find someone as amazing as my ex.

  I’m heartbroken. How can I let him or her go?

  Is this relationship really what I want? Am I being too demanding, or are we just not a good match?

  I seek excitement and passion, but in a normal relationship, that fades—so do I even want a serious and "boring" relationship?

  I have serious doubts about my relationship, but my partner refuses to go to therapy.

  Am I being strung along?

  Why does the other person always end things when I’m the one who’s in love?

  I’m afraid they’ll meet someone better and leave me, so I leave first... Can I learn to handle this differently?

  Why am I so jealous?

  Why can’t I open up sexually when I’m in love?

  Why do I get bored so quickly when someone is in love with me?

Individual relationship therapy for singles focuses on understanding patterns from past relationships, improving self-awareness, and developing healthy approaches for future relationships. Here are some key aspects that are typically addressed:

Self-Reflection and Self-Awareness

• Identifying patterns: We explore recurring patterns in your relationships, such as always falling for unattainable people.

• Limiting beliefs: You examine beliefs that might be preventing you from having healthy relationships, like "I'm not good enough" or "all the good ones are already taken."

• Self-acceptance: Work on strengthening your self-esteem and confidence, so you can set healthy boundaries and not lose yourself in a relationship.

Understanding Relationship Dynamics

• Current relational needs: You explore what you truly need in a relationship, the type of partner you’re looking for, and which values are important to you.

• Fear of abandonment/Commitment issues: If you struggle with forming intimate connections, we work on recognizing and overcoming fears of being abandoned or the inability to emotionally connect.

Dealing with Uncertainty and Emotions

• Coping with feelings of insecurity or loneliness: We work on understanding why you sometimes feel insecure or lonely and how to process these feelings without projecting them onto future relationships.

• Grief and heartbreak: If you’ve experienced broken relationships or heartbreak, there’s space to process these emotions and let go so you can open up to new opportunities.

  Connection and Intimacy

• Developing intimacy: We look at what intimacy means to you and how to open up for deeper emotional connections without fear or hesitation.

• Setting healthy boundaries: You learn to set healthy boundaries in relationships and differentiate between dependency and healthy interdependence.

Future Perspective and Relationships

• Looking for a future partner: We explore what you truly want in a partner and how to align your expectations with realistic, healthy standards.

• Developing relationship skills: We focus on developing skills such as communication, conflict resolution, and forming partnerships based on mutual respect and understanding.

  Improving Dating Strategies

• How to open up to new relationships: We examine your attitude towards dating and how to open yourself up to new experiences.

• Online dating: If you use online dating, we can also discuss how to present yourself authentically and what healthy boundaries are in this context.

Strengthening Personal Growth

• Self-care and personal development: You learn how to fulfill your own needs and continue to develop yourself, even without a partner.

• Healing after a breakup or loss: If you’ve previously been in a long-term relationship that ended, we look at how to rediscover yourself and open up to the possibility of love again.

The goal of therapy is to help you understand why past relationships didn’t work out, what you need in a future partner, and how to form healthy, fulfilling relationships based on mutual respect and love.

• Individual Relationship Therapy can also be helpful when you’re in a relationship. It provides the opportunity to work on personal issues or dynamics within the relationship without directly involving your partner. Here are some situations where individual therapy may be useful, even if you are in a relationship:

  Personal Issues Affecting the Relationship

  • Unresolved emotions or trauma: If you have personal experiences or past trauma affecting your relationship, it can be helpful to work through these issues individually first.

  • Anxiety or insecurity: If you have feelings of anxiety, fear of abandonment, or commitment issues that hinder your ability to fully engage in the relationship.

  • Self-esteem and boundaries: It can also help to strengthen your self-worth and establish clear boundaries, which can positively impact your relationship.

  Improving Communication and Relationship Skills

  • Conflict management: If you struggle with resolving conflicts or expressing emotions within your relationship, therapy can teach you how to communicate more effectively with your partner.

  • Changing behavioral patterns: If you notice that you’re stuck in unhealthy patterns (e.g., always being the mediator or suppressing emotions), individual therapy can help you develop new strategies.

  Personal Growth Within the Relationship

  • Self-development: Therapy can provide space to better understand yourself, explore your own needs and desires, and learn how to integrate them in a healthy way within the relationship.

  • Coping with uncertainties in the relationship: If you have doubts about the relationship, yourself, or the future, working on yourself can help you gain more clarity.

  Preparing for the Future

  • Developing joint goals: Therapy can help you think about what you want to achieve in the relationship and how to align your personal goals with those of your partner.

  • Strengthening emotional connection: If you feel emotionally distant or have difficulty connecting with your partner, therapy can help you work on your emotional availability.

  Processing Loss and Grief

  • Loss of a family member, partner, or other significant relationship: If you’ve experienced a loss that’s affecting your relationship, therapy can help you process the grief and explore how to restore the relationship.

  Self-Reflection and Awareness

  • Understanding dynamics: Sometimes it’s helpful to understand why you react in certain ways, what you might unconsciously project in the relationship, and how to change that.

  Assistance with Separation or Major Change

  • If your relationship is at a turning point: Even if there are doubts about the future of the relationship, working on yourself can help you better understand whether you want to continue the relationship or take a different path.

  Individual relationship therapy thus provides space to work on personal issues that may affect your relationship, without your partner needing to be directly involved. It can help you become the best version of yourself, which ultimately benefits the relationship.

We start with a free introductory session where you can share what challenges you're facing and what you'd like to achieve through therapy. After that (or immediately following), we begin with 60-minute sessions where we dive deeper into the areas where you'd like to gain more clarity. You’ll have the opportunity to tell your story, I will listen, and occasionally ask challenging questions that will help you understand yourself better. We will gain insights using various tools from systemic and contextual work (such as Lego figurines, family constellations on the table, a genogram, etc.). This will help you uncover what exactly is going on and why you don't feel (completely) happy in your relationship. You’ll also reflect between sessions to pause and consider your process. Additionally, you’ll explore the patterns you've developed from your family of origin. This will give you insight into what gets triggered by your partner. In love, we are often at our most vulnerable, and your partner can deeply affect older wounds without you even realizing it. With just a few sessions, you will gain new insights and relationship skills that you can apply in practice.